Yippee...Ryan's moved out and into an open crib!

First Time With Grandparents

Just wanted to share Ryan's first time being held by each grandparent.

Stopping In...

Just want to share some good news...Ryan has taken the bottle twice this week and they've had great success...

Update- theres been a lot of backforward with the VP shunt surgery but it's officially set for this coming Wednesday. Please keep him in your prayers.

Also, as of Monday our chunky monkey reached 7 lbs and 19 1/2 inches. He is growing like a weed. Aunty Rally asked Momma Banda "what are they feeding him poi??" lol

I ran into one of his earlier nurses yesterday and she told me that Ryan was truely an inspiration to the babies that come into the NICU. She said he had such a rocky start with all the unknowns but he has overcome so many odds. I wanted to cry with joy. Hearing those words is so soothing. God has blessed me beyond this lifetime by giving Martin and I, Ryan. He truely is a gift from God and it's so amazing to witness a miracle each day. Thanks be to God and to my family/friends that have walked with me and continue to walk with me during a time of such unknown.

Update 06/07 thru Father's Day


In the beginning he was back on the high flow cannula and this was due to his surgeries the week before. Ryan was trying to get back to eating at 1 cc every 3 hours, but with residuals every time , the following day he was taking nothing by mouth. He was getting lots of sleep during the day and the night.


Then as of 5 am on 06/09 Ryan was on room air breathing all by himself, and the the doctors jumped up to 5 cc. They wanted to get his belly stimulated. I was a little scared because he went from nothing by mouth to 5cc's, but he has been tolerating his feeds and doing well.


Ryan started occupational therapy for nippling on 06/15. It was just an evaluation to see where he is at and what we need to do. He got his first ever vaccines on 06/16, handling them like a champ. We gave him a bath by ourselves for the first time on 06/19. Martin and I were nervous but he just kept still while we washed him up. Eyes open he was the best ever for us.


The best day out of all of this was Father's Day. Martin celebrated his very first. It was so wonderful to witness this, to see my husband hold his son ever so tightly, close to his heart. I know in my bones that Martin will be a great daddy to Ryan, they will be close. Of course we took pictures and captured this moment, first of many. Also, they made Martin this cute little card that had a picture of Ryan with a sweet poem. It had Ryan's little footprint and handprint.

Cherish

Week of June 1st update:
Ryan had an eye exam on 06/01/2010 that showed early signs of Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP). ROP is a potentially blinding eye disorder that primarily affects premature infants weighing about 2¾ pounds (1250 grams) or less that are born before 31 weeks of gestation. The smaller a baby is at birth, the more likely that baby is to develop ROP. This disorder—which usually develops in both eyes—is one of the most common causes of visual loss in childhood and can lead to lifelong vision impairment and blindness. (National Institute of Health) It was later confirmed that he was at Stage I. Stage I — Mildly abnormal blood vessel growth. Many children who develop stage I improve with no treatment and eventually develop normal vision. The disease resolves on its own without further progression. (National Institute of Health) Following that visit a second opinion was requested just to confirm. The second opinion was scheduled on 06/03/2010. I talked to the second opinion doctor and he said it sounded like Ryan was at Stage I and that if this was correct on 06/03/2010 he wanted to proceed with laser surgery for early intervention. Both Martin and I understood the severity of letting this continue any longer or doing nothing. We agreed to laser surgery, if needed. On 06/02/2010 a day before the surgery we met with a neurosurgeon who was concerned over the recent dilatation of Ryan’s ventricles. He said they were swelling causing pressure. While Ryan was too small to get the shunt they felt it would be best for him to have a reservoir for now. He said this would help him for the 2-3 weeks until he got bigger. He explained that the reservoir will allow cerebrospinal fluid to be removed with a syringe to check the pressure. Fluid from the reservoir can also be examined for bacteria. The neurosurgeon also, wanted to act fast and said that he would add Ryan for surgery on 06/03/2010. This meant that Ryan would have two surgeries in one day, wow, did we have a big day ahead.
I prayed that night and also, in the morning asking God to be with him during this time, to heal him and work through the hands of these doctors. I was scared and frustrated that my son had to endure another thing. I couldn’t help him, save him or protect him. I must say that I’ve never in my life felt so helpless or weak. That Thursday I spent the day at the hospital first telling Ryan I would be there waiting for him once he was done with his eye surgery and then second kissing him before he went into neurosurgery.
After, each surgery I met with the doctor and was told he tolerated the surgery well and was recovering. It was quite a week, but as usual our lil’ fighter pushed through it. He continues to amaze us and continues to reflect the miracle that God offers us. We are so blessed!

Melt With You

So an update on his previous week...
Ryan was off the vent on 05/24/2010 and back on the SiPap. He celebrated his two month birthday (Yippee!!) with toleration of 2 cc every 3 hours on his feeds and few tremors. From his latest head ultrasound we were advised that there was slight growth of fluid in the brain. This could mean a shunt in the future, but at this time it is unknown,his neurologist and neonatologists arefollowing him closely. He moved up to 3 cc every 3 hours and finished his antibiotics on 05/28/2010.

On Sunday he had quite an apnea spell which is when these preemies stop breathing. It's very common and most of the time through stimulation they come out of it pretty quick. Of course, I was scared crazy trying to stimulate him. It was so hard to watch him decrease in heart rate and turn pale blue, but with some O2 assistance he came out of it. I must say he's been doing great when it comes to his respiratory and the whole incident was unlike him, but this just tells me we still have a ways to go. After, his brief spell he's been doing great. I think every once in a while he likes to age me.

My gracious God I love the child you've sent down from heaven for me. You've given me a perfect reflection of your love and image. The gift you offer from your kingdom is amazing. No words could express my gratitude, but for all my days I will love your child, who is now my child. In your name and all my knees I pray in your name, Amen!

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

Happy 2 month Birthday Ryan!!

2 months old- May 26, 2010

Weighs 3lbs and 0.3 ounces

Ryan is back on the SiPap machine due to a small infection, but he is doing very well and healing. He will remain on antibiotics for the full term of 10 days and he is almost done with treatment. He looks so handsome and a nice color. He had to start over with his feedings so right now he is eating 3 cc's along with powder that adds calories to the breast milk. This will help him gain weight. Ryan is also, having range of motion therapy. This helps get his muscles and joints working. I must say Ryan is quite strong and is always trying to move. When he lays on my chest during kangaroo care he lifts his head up trying to look at me. When something is being done to him that he doesn't like oh he will let you know with swinging fists. He might look like his Daddy, but he sure has his Mommy's fighting spirit.

Let's Hear It For The Boy

I must say that our little Ryan is on his way. Ryan was placed on the SiPap machine for breathing and not too long after he was taken off and placed on a cannula. This is all headed in a positive direction. It is the most wonderful thing to see his chest rise and fall as he breathes on his own. His feeding has increased to 13.5 cc and is going up 1.5 cc every 12 hours. (1cc= 1ml) Both Martin and I continue to swaddle Ryan as well as take part in kangaroo care. Yesterday we watched Ryan have a bath and he almost slept through the whole thing. He was just so comfy after kangaroo care with his momma. I must say he loves having his hair brushed and he has a lot of it. Since he is on very little sedation he can keep his eyes open a lot longer, but it does exhaust him over time. Also, he has a pacifier and enjoys it. On Saturday his primary nurse attempted to have Ryan suckle and he was successful. While he doesn’t have enough strength to get any milk he still had the idea and for preemies that is great. He sucked for about 10 minutes. He loved the skin to skin contact and just does so well regarding his vitals.

For all these accomplishments we thank our gracious God. We are also grateful for all the prayers. This has touched our life in a way we could never imagine and we believe in my heart that God led us on this journey because God feels that we are capable. I believe that we are most capable due to the support system and foundation that we have in family and friends. It is an unbreakable foundation with the Lord as the cement and family as structure.

Baby Hold On To Me

On Saturday May 9th I was able to hold Ryan in the rocker for the first time. I held my baby boy for an hour. This was the best pre-Mother’s Day present ever. When we arrived the nurse asked me if I wanted to hold Ryan. I told of course, they never ever have to ask me I always want to hold my baby. She said okay and laughed. She tells me you’ll hold for about an hour tonight. My mouth dropped and my heart almost burst. Up until this point the longest I held Ryan was maybe a minute or two. He was wrapped nicely in a blanket and settled right into my arms. It was such a wonderful moment to hold him. Martin recorded the moment.

On Sunday May 10th I had my very first Mother’s Day. I came to the hospital beaming and waiting to hold him again. This time I held Ryan for 2 hours and then Martin took over. Up to this point Ryan has been off the jet ventilator for some time and stable. His feedings have been going well with only some residual. We are just so proud of him and how each day he fights. We thank God everyday and many times a time for the blessing of Ryan and his healing.

On Monday May 11th I was extremely excited to visit Ryan because today was the first day for kangaroo care. I was going to hold my son skin to skin. I sat in the rocking chair awaiting my son. It was as the nurse laid him against me that I began to cry tears of joy. I was overwhelmed with this full feeling, I was complete. He tolerated everything very well and just lay in my arms peacefully.

On Wednesday May 13th Martin had his very first kangaroo care with Ryan. How wonderful is it to witness a father holding his precious son. It was just beautiful and I was so proud. I know that this is only the beginning of a strong relationship. He will show him not only how to be a good man, but a good father and most of all a good human being. He will love him unconditionally and with every fiber of his being.

As days progressed this week Ryan has increased on his feedings going from 2cc to 5cc. He has tolerated this all very well and is slowly gaining steady weight. Since he has such good gases Ryan has been taken off the regular ventilator. He is now only on the CPAP receiving the least amount of assistant. Basically, for breathing it’s all Ryan. Being able to watch him take breaths all on his own, to slowly see all the help going away is amazing. These past weeks Ryan has made huge strides and while we still take it one day at a time I’m so proud to be his momma. He is resilient and determined to be with us as much as we are with him. God’s blessing and healing of our son on a day to day basis is a miracle. The future is unknown but what I do know is that Ryan’s spirit does not give up.

Yummy! Yummy!

There’s a huge milestone to report with Ryan. I’m excited with all my heart to announce that Ryan received a feeding tube yesterday and he had his very first feeding of my breast milk. Now it’s a small dose (1 cc), but it’s an amazing step. This means that they feel confident that his gut is working the way it should. Just a few days ago the surgeon had looked over his incision and his ostomy is working well. Ryan receiving the breast milk will be a huge benefit to his immune system and growth. Last night, Martin and I took part in his second feeding. While, I gave him milk through the feeding tube, Martin gave Ryan oral care. He loved that so much, moving his tongue swirling it around and just opens his mouth up wider for more. I also, was able to hold him close to my heart again. I never want to let him go once he’s in my arms, but I must. I’m just so fortunate that he’s doing so well and that the nurses feel comfortable to allow us these moments.
Overall, Ryan has many good days and he has shown a great deal of consistency which we are most thankful for. We ask for continued prayer as healing continues under the hands of Gods through nurses and doctors. We are blessed beyond words for all the prayers and most grateful for the love and support.

Every Breath You Take

Thank you God for the blessings!
Yesterday, Ryan was taken off the Jet Ventilator. This is amazing news and an accomplishment because it means he is able to breathe more on his own. Also, it means that hopefully we will be able to hold him more often when we visit. He has gone down in his sedation settings so he is very alert and we are catching a lot more pictures with his eyes open. He is so handsome and it’s the most beautiful thing when he’s looking at you. His nurses really notice how well he is doing. His days are stable and the Lord, is really watching over him.

Hold Me Now Video

This is me holding Ryan in my arms for the first time.

One Month Old

On Sunday April 25th Ryan turned one month old. This was the longest and shortest month of my life. Everyday I see him and I'm just amazed at how strong he is and how he overcomes the challenges with baby steps. Happy one month, Ryan!

Hold Me Now

On Saturday April 24th I held my son close to my heart for the very first time. Ryan's primary nurse is so wonderful with letting me do as much for Ryan as I can While he rested in my arms listening to the familiar sound of my heartbeat, I felt peace. Martin captured the moment on video and with pictures. I love him so much and I can't wait for the days of kangaroo care.
Just in case your wondering what kangaroo care is I provided the following information.

Kangaroo care is the practice of holding your diapered baby on your bare chest, with a blanket draped over your baby's back. This skin-to-skin contact benefits both you and your baby. Kangaroo care can help your baby:

• Maintain his body warmth
• Regulate his heart and breathing rates
• Gain weight
• Spend more time being quiet and alert and less time crying
• Have a better chance at successful breastfeeding
  

Love is a Battlefield

I'm a little behind with the blog and that's mostly because all my focus has been on Ryan.

His first couple of weeks of life have just been a battle. The very first week we sat down with the neonatologist to be told that Ryan has an Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH), this is known as bleeding of the brain. There are four different levels (1-4) and Ryan shows a four on the left side of the brain and one-two on the right. Our most recent update is that there has been no progression of the bleeding or the mass. While the news we were given still leaves room for severe disability nothing is ever a 100%. We felt that we would leave that up to Ryan and God.

The following week we were told by the cardiologistt that Ryan needed to have a Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA) surgery. Ryan's ductus arteriosus remained open causing blood to fill his lungs and also, redirect back to his heart. This was a pretty standard surgery for preemies, but odds were not in our favor. Ryan had surgery April 14, 2010 and it was successful. He tolerated that surgery very well. The family was in great spirits.

Then, at 5 am I received a call. I was told by the doctor in the NICU that an infection in Ryan's abdomen had become apparent and harmful. His belly was inflamed and dusky. Ryan had Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), his intestines were infected due to a perforation in his bowel wall. We headed over to the hospital as soon as we could. When we arrived we were told by the surgeon that he didn't feel comfortable performing the surgery. Ryan's vitals were weak and he just had surgery the other day. Instead they made an incision in his belly at the bed side to drain out as much of the infection and swelling they could. The hope was that this would buy us some time and allow him to get stronger.

The weekend passed and while Ryan was sick he was fighting. He was remaining stable. On April 20, 2010 Ryan had surgery again to remove any dead sections of bowel. We waited and it felt like it was the longest two hours of my life. We were told over and over that he was sick and that this surgery would be too much for his body. They were also concerned that when they went inside they would find too much damage. This sat on my mind and my heart. When the surgeon finally came back to speak with us it was with a smile. He said he got the best scenario, there was a very small perforation and they cleaned out what had spilled out into the abdomen. They diverted Ryan's abdomen through a stoma and it would later be reattached. This would allow Ryan to begin healing.

This was only the first couple of weeks of Ryan's life.

My Birth

On Thursday March 25th, it was just another day for Mommy and me. She worked while I danced in her belly. Then, she noticed some light spotting which concerned her and caused her to contact her doctor's office. We were seen at the office later that day where we all thought everything was going to be okay. Instead, we were told that we had already dilated to three which confused me. I heard her cry as Daddy drove us over to the hospital. While things seemed to move so fast we were admitted and put on bed rest. The goal was to keep me inside for as long as we could. I was only 23 weeks and coming up to 24, but it was still too early. I heard all the noise going on outside and I knew Mommy was worried. Mommy was told how critical time was for me. I was monitored and so was Mommy. Then at 9:30 am on Friday March 26th Mommy's water broke. It seems I was quite anxious to meet my family and the world.

I, Ryan Makaio Banda, was born at 1:04 pm. Since I was coming down toes first (breech) I was removed from my Mommy's belly via C-Section. Before they whisked me off to the NICU they rested me right against my Mommy's cheek. I seemed to steal the show that day since I had all these pretty ladies (nurses) fussing over me.

So, at the moment my home is the Long Beach Memorial Children's Hospital NICU. I have my very own isolette decorated with my own blanket and picture of my parents. This will only be my home for awhile because I will be coming home to my Mommy and Daddy in July where I have my very own room.